Whether you’re one of those people for whom the bigger questions of existence have always loomed or you’ve experienced something in life which made those questions arise for the first time seemingly out of nowhere– wondering, seeking, thinking about the awesome nature of existence is just a part of who you are for some of us.
Identifying as a seeker, for me, has been an unfolding in and of itself. Even as a child I’ve wanted to understand beyond the surface of things. Why are we here? What does it mean to be alive? What is God? What is truth? It wasn’t until I was an adult that a man I was having a casual conversation with called me a seeker. I asked him what he meant by that and he went on to explain that I was one of those people who would be perpetually dissatisfied by life because I needed answers and life would not provide any. He said I was always going to question the nature of everything and never come to any understanding; essentially that I would be a rolling stone without convictions or belief of any kind … just a seeker.
When I heard the word seeker, something inside me resonated. He was right. I was a seeker but he was wrong about everything else.
My questions, while maybe too grand to have any concrete answers, were the delicious imperative of my soul. Even without answers, they did not leave me empty-handed and dissatisfied, they left me full and fat with possibility. I came alive when immersed in the bigness of what life means.
This new label only affirmed for me that questions needn’t always have an answer and that sometimes the very act of questioning keeps your heart on the pulse of things that matter to you. I wasn’t lacking conviction or belief, I was approaching all things with tender attention and to do so was my belief; it was my conviction to question the nature of reality.
Those of us who are looking out towards the horizon aren’t necessarily doing so because we cannot see the joy in what is in front of us. The questing does not have to come from a space of lack or sadness. Seekers are simply people who can sit in the mystery- who are learning how to live because of the questions.